So there I was, sitting in front of the coffee shop Second Cup and a saddness came over me that caused me to pick up my phone, enter the app store and type the word “Blog” into the search bar. I felt like I needed a release, an escape of some kind and it couldn’t just be any escape but it had to be one that sparked my interest. I have been writing fictional stories since the sixth grade to express my feelings – because believe me, when they build up, the explosion isn’t pretty – and escape from the horrid reality that I exist in. Now I want to speak my true feelings and paint a vivid image to anyone who is willing to read these posts. I can’t hide my feelings within my fictional characters anymore because it feels as though I am trapped within a closed system and my screams won’t reach beyond the walls. Instead, they bounce back and slap me in the face, forcing me to believe that what im feeling isn’t real and that I’m selfish for ever believing that my feelings should matter.
I have a question for you reader and you may think I’m crazy but honestly, ask yourself, have you ever felt your own pain? I know a lot of us, we constantly disregard our feelings, the reason? It could be different for everyone, my reason? I feel like other’s have it much worse than I do – which is true in most cases – and I don’t deserve to cry from my pain. Sometimes, I forget that I too, am human. But back to my question, I know you have felt pain before but have you ever thought about all the things you’ve been through and all the people you have lost and it just brings tears to your eyes and pain to your heart? Have you ever given yourself the time to sympathize for yourself? That’s what I was feeling in that moment and I knew I needed to find a way to express my pain and I thought, what about a blog? That’s when I picked up my phone and made it happen.
Did I mention I wasn’t having the best day? I had missed the bus and I had to call my step-father to pick me up and my mom called me and was yelling at me and asking me how could I have let the bus leave me and I told her I lost track of time. Which, in a way I did, my phone said the last bus was coming at 10:15pm and the bus stop said 10:00pm. [Before I called my step-father] I saw an old friend at the bus stop and she was explaining it all to me. I was ready to take another path home when she said, “you’re taking the Uber with me!” I agreed. We search and her phone ended up dying so we thought we missed the Uber. We went inside to Second Cup and charged our phones and that’s when I called my step-father.
The rest of my day only seemed to go downhill from that point and by the time I got home, my emotions from my day had built up and my tears washed away with my shower. Now, here I am. Hello, WordPress.